Jedi Mind Tricks1

Maybe I should use cut scores this year in my classroom to assess students. I am not sure what the cut score will be, but I can guarantee a 70% failure rate.

 I will inform my new principal that I will increase the difficulty of my class to exceed the rigor required to earn a masters degree. This will ensure (For the students who pass my class) they will be ready for post-secondary work (If they can afford it) in 4 – 10 years.

I will substitute students’ names for numbers. I will no longer use webfolios, project-based learning, or blogs to assess students. Instead I will read scripted modules and use test prep to prepare students to know 100% of the standards then test them on 15% of them. If all goes well, a video recording of one of my lessons may make it to one of King’s emails of how great the reform is going.

The school year will be set up like the four days of a golf tournament. Students’ scores from the first two quarters will be used to determine who moves on to the last two quarters based on the cut score (Which has yet to be determined). Students who do not make the cut will get an extra period of my class, lose their electives (whichever ones they love most), and be told the school is bad because they did not meet the cut score (Which, I can predict will leave only 30% of kids feeling good about themselves).

Finally, I will hold a celebratory press conference in June to congratulate myself for a new benchmark and at that point predict a 0.1% increase in my students’ scores for the following year…

Nah. I’ll just keep fighting for kids and my laces green instead.

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